Director: Dominic Sena
Starring: Hugh Jackman, John Travolta, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle, Vinnie Jones, Sam Shepard

Ever since a pimpled Matthew Broderick brought the world to the brink of thermonuclear destruction in ‘War Games’, Hollywood has been fascinated by the myth of the outlaw computer hacker. From Robert Redford and River Phoenix stealing spy codes in ‘Sneakers’ to Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie’s “righteous hacks” in ‘Hackers’, we’ve never been far away from another movie about the high-octane thrills and spills that are part and parcel of the average computer geek’s life.

‘Swordfish’ is this year’s blockbuster effort from Joel Silver, producer of everything from ‘The Matrix’ to ‘Demolition Man’. As befits a Silver film, particularly one directed by Dominic Sena, who last applied his slick, shallow directorial approach to the forgettable ‘Gone In 60 Seconds’, this was never going to be anything but a big dumb Toys for Boys romp with absolutely nothing lingering beneath the surface.

Hugh Jackman, who seems to be modelling his American image on a young Clint Eastwood (even down to the Man With No Name sneer), is Stanley Jobson, once the world’s greatest hacker — nonsensically described as “the hacker zeitgeist of 1996” — but now forbidden to even touch a computer after being caught messing with the FBI’s carnivore surveillance program. When Ginger Knowles (Halle Berry) comes calling with $100,000, a very short skirt, and an offer to get his kid back from his porn-star ex wife, he agrees to meet with her employer, the mysterious, fast-living Gabriel Shear (John Travolta with a terrible haircut).

After passing his initial test (break an encryption key in 60 seconds while having oral sex performed on your person), Gabriel recruits Stanley to code a worm that will steal several billion dollars worth of unused CIA funds, to be used to fund a shady project overseen by a slimy senator (Sam Shepard) who has already seen at least one young hacker killed to protect its secret. As our young Stanley finds himself embroiled in an increasingly high-stakes game of international intrigue (or something), big explosions, big chases and big stunts stand between him and the ultimate hack.

Beginning in half-focussed closeup on Travolta’s face as he espouses a manifesto of realism in cinema as it relates to ‘Dog Day Afternoon’, the opening three or four minutes of ‘Swordfish’ were genuinely exciting, and surprising. The scene quickly escalates into mayhem of monumental proportions, culminating in an explosion effect so overwhelming that this reviewer’s jaw was on the floor. Of course, everything which follows (told in flashback from this moment) could never live up to the opening, and one gets the feeling that they blew their effects budget so completely on one shot that they just had to put it at the front to show it off. Sena only ever livens up in his trademark frenzied quick-cut action sequences, and does not seem to know the first thing about directing for plot or emotion — only slick thrills and spills.

After his breakthrough in ‘The X-Men’, Aussie boy-done-good Jackman continues to show the kind of genuine star quality which is so rare in a Hollywood leading man. Part charisma, part brooding menace, the Clint Eastwood comparisons are no accident. Even contending with such a silly character as our hacker hero here, randomly banging at a keyboard while seemingly using a 3D graphics program to break into a bank, his natural presence wins through. Travolta, on the other hand, still smarting from the ‘Battlefield Earth’ debacle which we just don’t talk about, overacts and munches scenery to annoying degrees, having great fun firing machine guns and blowing shit up, but never uttering one believable line of dialogue. Berry, famously paid an extra half million for a gratuitous tit-shot, is oddly gratuitous overall in a pure eye-candy role which one would have thought she would be above by now — not a scene goes by where she isn’t flashing her underwear or sunning herself topless. Much more enjoyable in the supporting ensemble are Vinnie Jones, always good value as the token hardman, and Don Cheadle, playing a crusading cop once again — somebody give that man a lead role.

One day, we’ll get a hacker movie in which the target computer doesn’t flash up ‘ACCESS DENIED’ in giant red letters, while the hacker and his hackalicious babes fly through 3D computer space to crack the code — but it would just be boring, wouldn’t it? Nobody wants to watch a movie with a Unix command prompt as the most cutting edge computer graphic. ‘Swordfish’ is big, dumb and for the most part painfully short of any redeeming features, but as 90 minutes of eye candy with a couple of great effects moments, there are worse ways to kill time.